A Photographic Exploration of Grief

Project #9 in my digital photography class was self-portraits. It was a project into self and psychology of self. I lost my mother in March 2023. I was still very much grieving when this project came about. I decided to try and capture the first four stages of grief for this project.

Denial

When my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer, I thought not my mom! It can't and shouldn't be! She was a strong person. She was still working at the time of her diagnosis. I thought for sure she'd come out on top of this disease.

Anger

Anger came towards the end. After she passed, I became angry with myself for not doing more with her, for not doing more for her, for not communicating with her more. I wasn't angry at her for getting sick. I was mad at myself.

Bargaining

I'm not a religious person but I offered up a bargain with the universe. Just let her be ok. She doesn't deserve to be sick.

Depression

I have battled depression my whole life. It comes in waves these days thankfully. However, after her passing, I'd find my mind wandering to thoughts of her and where could she be now? Is she happy now? She has to be happy now.

I miss her everyday!